Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Purified Space Drugs

At 20,000 feet above the ocean's surface Johnny circled the perimeter of the island looking for signs of trouble. Looking towards the distant horizon his eye caught motion on the waters surface. Using the glare coming from Magnums oiled up chest and the position of the setting sun he was able to triangulate the fast moving subs position at about 30 kilometers away. Johnny had a feeling in his gut the vessel was a friendly, He always went with his gut feelings in cases like this. But in this situation he was a bit more hesitant, having just ate Ivanas cooking, drank 3/4's of a bottle of snake oil, and a handful of M&M's, he felt like he may just need to take a healthy crap. Piss on he thought as he squeezed out a wet fart, threw his arms to his side put his head down and screamed towards the Ganja.

Aboard the Ganja T.C. had drifted off and was dreaming of getting down on a tasty plate of fried chicken and waffles when the airspace intrusion alarm sounds. "God Damn it T.C, you were dreaming about the colonels chicken again weren't you", yells Higgins as he removes his glove and slaps him across the face. "We've got a fast mover incoming, take evasive action.... dive, dive, dive", he shouts at the crew. T.C. remembering Magnum was in tow behind, shouts "what about Magnum"? To which Higgins responds, in his monotone Limy accent, "Nobody cares about that womanizing mustachioed loafer but Magnum". Then follows that statement with "Stay in the dive you bloody wankers". Magnum realizing he was in serious trouble pulls a nose clip from his handmade penguin skin Speedo slips it on his nose, grabs the handle on the tow rope tightly & sinks beneath the waters surface.

Comfortably aboard the O-zone, Oprah meanwhile was observing the action through the periscope while roasting some purified space crack out of a handmade pipe fashioned from Sammy Davis Junior's glass eye. Blowing the smoke out slowly into the face of her right hand man she tells him. "Mr. President go check on your cohort in the lab and tell him I need to see him on the bridge A sap". G-dub, jumps from the beanbag where he was sitting, grabs his pants from the floor, and runs towards the teleporter. As Bill takes a big rip of purified space weed out of a homemade bong fashioned from Sandy Duncan's Glass eye, G-Dub appears in the corner and says "the big O needs to see you Billy boy". Blowing the smoke slowly into G-Dubs face, he says in his slow southern drawl, "What does that chitlen lovin bucket of skin want now, doesn't she know I'm workin as fast as I can"? "Tell her I'll be there as soon as I've worked the bugs from these robots" as he points to the engineers working on the humanoids in the corner (see picture). EP