Slim Jims & Buttermilk

Johny watched the little arms on his Mickey Mouse watch/altimiter spin as he raced towards the jungle canopy. Juhnny pulled the rip cord at 1000 ft and nothing happened. At 500 ft he yanked the backup and still nothing. Shit sandwich was the next thought that entered his head as he slipped through the tops of the rubber trees. Johnny is one of very few who can stick a ten point landing from a c-130 and survive! Johnny closed his eyes and gathered the energy of the universe into his every cell. Time began to slow, visions of his parents burnning to death, colonel sanders spanking Wonka on the rear and several women without eyes flashed through his brain. Three, two, one... Johnny landed in a good defencive position with his fully automatic custome made fifty cal at the ready. Johnny noticed he lost two slim jimms and a gallon of buttermilk in the
drop. Other then that all was well. Johnny made the landing from full terminal vilosity without making a sound or a single footprint. Some call this ability god like. Some felt he was a deamon, but like he always says after a good room clearing bar fight... "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." DT