The Devil Wears Prada

As the interlude in the middle of Rocket-Man climaxed, LJ realized that he was deeply in love with Ivanna Sukyoff. Mesmerized by her charms, LJ wanted nothing more than a life of love and happiness with this woman. Twirling and pirouetting as one, they mouthed the final words to Rocket-Man while gazing into one another's eyes. As the final bars faded from Johnny's Hi-Fi into the amazing acoustics of the cave, Johnny dropped to one knee and proposed marriage.... Ivanna agreed. Gleefully, Johnny shouted "Yippeee!" and skipped over to the wet bar. "Let's celebrate, said Johnny, I've saved this bottle of scotch for 30 years, it's a family heirloom of sorts and one of the most important things in my life. Now I know I've been saving it for this moment."

He couldn't see the truth. Never saw it coming. Little Johnny was fluent in 17 variants of kung-fu, a trained killer, expert in underwater demolition, counter espionage, man-tracking, and force reconnoissance. He performed calculations of ballistics and quantum probability in his head, assembled implemented explosive devices on the fly...... But he was only a man. LJ was impossibly trapped in the mind-boggling, treacherous spell of Ivanna Sukyoff. With tears in his eyes and happier than he'd ever been in his life, LJ turned and reached into the cupboard for two glasses and his prized scotch, to celebrate his new life with this wonderful woman.

"Have a drink with me my love" said Johnny. With LJ's back turned toward her, Ivanna Sukyoff's expression turned sinister. Her beautiful face furrowed into an impetuous sneer. "Coming my darling" she said. Ivanna hiked up her evening gown, exposing her exquisite, olive colored thighs, and removed one of her 5 inch stiletto heels. She depressed a hidden lever on the $1,000.00 Pradas to expose a double edged dagger, attached to the sole. Before LJ could turn to face her, Ivanna hucked the shoe with calculated force. Whistling as it flew, and with slight english from right to left, the deadly high-heel met it's mark. The scotch glasses fell and broke on the cave floor as LJ released his grip, intense pain roared up the back of his neck as the shoe-dagger lodged between his spine and shoulder blade. Fighting to remain conscious, LJ dropped to his knees, his back remained toward Ivanna. "Silly little man" spewed Ivanna, "You are nothing, you are as weak as all the rest. You could never complete a mission of this importance. Enough waisting my time with such a douche, you could never support my spending habits anyway. I will complete this mission myself!"

Pain searing and completely immobile, LJ was crushed physically and emotionally as the words left Ivanna's lips. On his knees with his head in his hands something inside him began to happen. Anguish turned to anger. A twinge at first, then a wave, and another. Johnny focused his mind and traded the pain for determination. In the darkness of the cave, on his knees, behind him a deadly woman about to finish him forever, and a high-heel sticking out of his back, a smirk appeared, then a sinister grin creased Johnny's lips.

------What happened next is classified, any knowledge of the following accounts will be disavowed by any party's or governments. Read on at your own risk------- JC